“Our hearts are restless”

Restless hearts are in good company.

The ministry is all about restless hearts. When I talk to people about their faith, this one truth seems to transcend all racial, socio-economic, gender, and geographic boundaries – “Our hearts are restless until they find rest in You, oh God.” Today, I had the opportunity to think about restlessness in two different context: one while gardening and one while eating.

This Friday afternoon, about 20 area kids joined the youth already staying at the church for an afternoon together. After a quick game of Duck, Duck. Lion (when trying to explain the American game to the children most of them had no conception of ‘goose’ and it made even less since that a goose would chase a duck. So, Nissia (a 6 yr old) decided that a Lion would not only chase the duck, but would catch and eat it too… so, we now have the exciting origins of the game Duck, Duck, Lion)… then, we all participated in planting and transplanting carrots, cabbage, and a few other vegetables in the church’s rich soil.

Every church should have a garden.

The steeples that once soared above the Cape Town horizon have now been engulfed in a concrete maze of high-rise hotels and skyscrapers. Greg has taught me that inner-city ministry requires us to think in a post-Christendom mindset (that being when the church no longer dominates and dictates mainstream culture, business, ethics, morals, et cetera – we are there!). The life-giving greenness of a garden is capable of replacing the steeple in the urban setting. When one think of the original purpose of a steeple this makes even more sense steeples originally served the pragmatic purpose of making the church easy to find. Why not mark the church with a symbol of new life, growth, and eventual harvest?

I noticed when the kids began to grow tired of the game after several times of going they grew quite restless. They are no different than myself – they wanted newness, excitement, fun…meaning. Duck, Duck, Lion just doesn’t have a lot of meaning to a nine-year-old. Of course, gardening was exciting and captured their attention as well until the arduous tasks of actually digging up the ground and transplanting each plant individually arose…and it too became dull and rather boring. So, the older teenagers and adults were left to finish the garden as the restless children found new fun in climbing the trees, fences, and sliding through the wet mud on their stomachs!

We are constantly searching for that which has meaning…we begin this journey as children and never completely finish it…but the question really is…where do our hearts find peace? My heart continues to find peace when I finally reach that point of surrender – where I give up those fleeting, shinny, exciting things of life in exchange for that which has meaning. When something tugs and yanks at your heart with the vigor of a lying catching its prey – its time to answer as Samuel did: “Speak Lord for your servant is listening.” (I Sam 3).

During my internship one of my primary tasks is to have a significant one-of-one conversation with all 33 members of the Woodstock Church. This evening was quite meaningful – and not just because it was my first meeting with a female member about my age (as was duly pointed out upon my return back to the church !) – but because I actually got to feel as though I participated in something meaningful. Alexius moved back to Cape Town a few years ago from possibly the best church in South Africa (Alan Storey is the minister – for those of you who know him). She is disappointed with the changes, with church, and finds no meaning or purpose in her job at the plant where she works. I am absolutely astounded at what people will tell you if you do two things: 1. Ask a thoughtful yet succinct question 2. shut up and listen without trying to think about what you’re going to say next.

It’s not appropriate to reiterate her personal concerns here – but she did give me permission to repeat on question and answer. Towards the end of the dinner, I asked, “Alexius, what brought you to the church in the first place, why are you here?” She looked at me without hesitation and said, “Ryan, it was an amazing pastor (Alan) who said to me in crisis – ‘Alexius, your heart will be always be restless until find peace in God.’” This is meaningful. This is a garden with the potential to produce new life, a garden capable of nourishing an entire village, and enlivening each person she encounters. When people ask me why I want to be a minister – this day is why.

“Men go abroad to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.” - Saint Augustine