Congolese Wedding

Today we celebrated. Congolese weddings are an all day affair. We arrived around 1 and left around midnight. What most struck me about the wedding was the sense of community that has been maintained. Even though these displaced people are forced to change and adapt to their newly found culture and age, they have found ways to maintain parts of their culture and a focus on family – which includes sometimes 60-70 people. Adult Congolese are generally greeted with “auntie, mama, papa” no matter what their relation. To pull of the wedding it seemed that everyone instinctively knew their role throughout the day. From cooking to setting up to arranging flowers to singing to eating to clean-up to driving 20 people home in each vehicle. No one was paid or expected to paid, it was simply part of the party – nearly every one contributed.

More specifically, I ended up in the kitchen washing dishes and arranging flowers. I was the only male in the more domesticated roles – but it seemed not to bother anyone. My favorite part of the day was definitely playing and dancing with the multitude of children. Tembo’s two youngest daughters, Nissia and Lynn are just old enough carry on conversations and play thoughtfully but not quite old enough to be aware of every social expectation—this allowed for unrestrained laughing, crying, and very energized attempts at dancing. I am continually blown away by the South African children who despite hardships, abuse, neglect, and language barriers can live a life of joy. Perhaps those who see the world through eyes not yet tarnished and blinded by the intolerance of sexism, racism, and xenophobia possess the ability to live life as it is intended – with unabated joy.

After cleaning up from the festivities, I was exhausted and collapsed for a long night of rest.